If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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