Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
he quoted the bible to break up with me
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
