So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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