Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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