My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
