Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
