Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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