We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
