You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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