drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
