Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
