Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
