can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
