Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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