So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize