love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
