my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
