Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
