i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Randomize
