I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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