Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
