If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
