so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
