Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
