And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
