Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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