Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
