you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
