Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
