I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
the liver wants what the liver wants
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
