Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
