next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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