i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
