I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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