So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
