She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
