I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
