at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
