she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize