i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
