Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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