I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
