Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
