sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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