Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
another moral hangover. fuck.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
