I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
