i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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