When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize