dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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