so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
