Umm I'm too high to move.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
