did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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