Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
