I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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