I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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