Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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