Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
