Christians are straight up FREAKS
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
